Really awesome!

Practically everything in my life is going amazingly right now! When my husband and I were younger, our marriage was pretty crazy. We were just both stubborn and wanting to get our own way and "win" every fight. We always said that every year things got a little better. Well, the past couple years things have gotten better exponentially. I'm just really happy. We get along. We still are explosive over stupid things occasionally, but to be honest, I enjoy that. My daughter moved home a week ago. I can't stop smiling about it. She brought a cute little dachshund with her that hasn't been housebroken. I'm up at all hours taking him out and if she stays the night with a friend I am sleeping with him instead of Chip. Whatever, MY DAUGHTER IS BACK HOME!!! She was engaged to and living with a boy that I like a lot. (Also her best friend/his sister lived in the apartment too.) I've known him since he was a kid and I've always thought he was very sweet. However, she didn't seem like her best self while they were all living together. She was trying to fit in with his friends and she just isn't really like them. I was really concerned and praying and hoping the situation would get better. They broke up, she's home, she started working at CCB (doing great!), and totally looks and acts like herself again. My son lives a charmed life every day. Everybody loves him. He is cute as he can possibly be and hilarious. He's been getting some good playing time in basketball. Which I don't really care about except that I know he cares about it. He has friends that I adore. He's making good grades and thinking about his future. I made an A in Anatomy and Physiology I this semester. I have great friends. I have a job where I work with tons of people I love. They are supportive about me going to school and trying to leave there. My parents are awesome and so is Chip's family. I have been trying to forgive people and do what the pastor is talking about in church. And I keep seeing my prayers answered. Thank you God for such a wonderful life.

Wednesday to Thursday

I woke up and went to work. As soon as I got out of my car I realized I had forgotten to bring my tax information and I needed it for a meeting with my financial aid adviser. I think Chip and Kyla will need to get loans this coming semester. Now when my break comes I have to leave earlier and waste gas and vacation time running home to get it. I had been looking for my daughters W2 as well, but then she said on Tuesday she was quitting college. I decided to use the extra time driving home to call my parents. That was going well but while at the house the dog tries to jump in the car and in keeping him out I hit myself in the head with the corner of the car door. It draws a little blood, then makes a big knot and bruise. When I get to the college for the appointment, I see my husband right before his class and my meeting. He takes this time to tell me that he has talked to his mother and after this semester he will be quitting college and going back to work full time somewhere, maybe the prison. I admit, I kind of freaked out. I am afraid he is going to feel like college is another thing he has "failed" if he doesn't finish. He's insanely hard on himself and counts too many things as failures already. I don't care about the money. I care about him being happy. But I also don't believe his mother wants him to quit. She's just worried about how we are going to get through it. So now my meeting is pretty pointless. But the guy does use that time to tell me I need a back up plan because it's hard to get in the PTA program. Then I walk outside and a classmate tells me I don't look as sharp as usual. Back at the office, my boss has been out for awhile with a family emergency and the stress is starting to pile up. I have a headache, take a bunch of medicine and then become nauseous. My friends are all worried I have a concussion. I am actually a little worried too but feel pretty stupid about it. Then I realize I am out of cereal. (Luckily, Chip brings me some and avoids a total melt-down.) Then, Thursday comes. My best friend gets me a fitbit zip that I have really been wanting. Another best friend does my makeup before I leave for school so I will look sharp. Another one brings me Joyce Meyer CD's about how to deal with emotional stress. My boss pays me for taking his daughter to work even though I told him not too. Another nice talk with my parents. Chip is lovely all day as usual. Trace and I laughed a lot as usual. Kyla came by the office and then called after she got off work. Another friend helped her with her resume. Had a nice conversation with my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law. Didn't study for my test and still made a C. All in all a really nice day. :)

My daughter has moved out.

She graduated high school. Then got an apartment and moved out. With her best friend and boyfriend who are also brother and sister. Normally, I am really good at handling emotional stuff. I mean really good. And intellectually, I am ok. She is doing great... going to college, paying her own bills, getting along with roommates, etc. But emotionally, every time I am around her and she leaves, I cry. Now you have to know that I hardly ever cry. This is very, very unusual behavior for me. I just keep thinking, I want her to live here again. But most likely it's not going to happen. She just turned 19 on Oct 12. And she got engaged that day. I love the fiance. He's a really sweet guy. Somehow, it's just so upsetting. Every time I look at her I think about what she was like as a little girl. She's still like that in a lot of ways. Cuddly, sweet, dorky on purpose, hilarious, so so smart, intuitive, very silly... just perfect. And I want her to live here. Always. I want to be her immediate family. The people she comes home to and tells about her day. I don't want to share her with them. Even though I love them too. I keep trying to pretend I am ok. I don't know how many people I'm fooling. I keep wondering if it was like this for my mom or Chip's mom or everyone's mom. Or am I just a huge baby or maybe I love her more or maybe she is just more awesome than the rest of us. Then all the mom's that have already had all their kids move out nod knowingly and say "It's worse when the baby moves out." I expect it to be just as awful. But if it's worse, I don't know how I will get through. And I am crazy about my husband. I have been saying for years that we will be fine with the empty nest because we have so much fun together. I didn't know I would miss her like this.

I just finished a Statistics and Probability class. It was so insane. First of all, math does not come easy for me. Secondly, in order to stay on the path I have chosen for myself (get in PTA program next year) I had to take it this summer or try to handle it on top of A & P (which counts A LOT toward getting in the program.)So my options for the summer were 1) take it online or 2) take it in 3 weeks. I chose the 3 weeks because I thought it would help to have a teacher. And it did. But she didn't cut out anything, so we crammed 14 weeks of class into 3. We went 3 hours 5 days a week. And Kyla graduated during the second week. I thought I might stroke out before the end. But I didn't stroke out. I got an A! I know everyone around me is probably sick of hearing me talk about school. But I LOVE it so much! I love taking on a little too much and then succeeding. I love the feeling you have when you get through something like that. I don't always put myself first in life. But I have to when it comes to school. Right now I have all A's except for 1 B (and it was a really, really hard class). Many, many thanks to my family for taking up my slack and not ever complaining. I'm doing something I feel led to do and it's just a great feeling.

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Yesterday

I have mixed feelings about yesterday. First of all, it started with only 5 hours of sleep. I don't like that. I am an "8 hour or more" kind of girl. I have been studying for this medical terminology class and it feels like there is never a break. I have been writing down all the terms on index cards that I carry with me all the time so I can study them more often... like in line or when I'm in the car with other people or any time I have 5 minutes. I didn't do great on my first test. Then I did really good on the next few. One chapter was abbreviations which I just totally got. The next one I asked for an extension and studied an extra 3 days. The teacher talked a lot about ethics and not cheating on these tests. So as much as I have stressed about taking them and making a bad grade. I have also worried about taking them, making a good grade and him thinking I have cheated. Yesterday, I failed one. The definitions were just all so close to each other. And during the review it seemed like I knew most of it. There are only two days to study for the next one... and I really need a nap.

Things Are Just Going So Great

So I got the financial aid that I was hoping for!! I am taking a class (Intro to Physical Therapy)this semester which requires me to observe for 12 hours in a PT's office. A friend of mine is a Physical Therapist Assistant (PTA) in a nursing home and said that I should come to her location. I really did not want to do that. Sounded absolutely terrifying. But she said that she would write me a letter of recommendation and that when applying to the program it looked better if you had tried different types of places. I went to her place first so I could get it out of the way. Before I went, another PTA friend of mine told me about an elderly gentleman that he was helping on a walker that suddenly had to pee and couldn't make it to the bathroom and peed all over my friend as he was trying to get the man's penis into a portable urinal. That just sounds very scary to me. But when I got to the nursing home, it was WONDERFUL!! Everyone was so nice, the staff, the patients, the therapy dog... the whole environment was happy, not scary. I helped a lot and felt comfortable from the moment I walked in.

The next office I went to was in a building I have wanted to work in since I first walked in 5 years ago with my daughter when her knees were bothering her. The PT that owns it worked with her for awhile then asked if he could try something... at which point he kind of "laid hands" on her and then said it was a problem with her immune system. We went back to our regular doctor and he ran some tests and found mono. It was kind of fantastic. Anyway, he lets me come in and observe. I ended up being more nervous there. Just seemed like there was a lot more ways someone could get hurt if the therapist doesn't really really know what they are doing. Now after I finish college I hope to really really know what I am doing. lol. But right now, that's a spooky thought. The great thing that happened there is that he has a Tech that might be leaving and he would have an opening in March and he said he would call me!!!! I could be working where I want to work, doing some of what I want to do NEXT MONTH! Or worst case scenario, I stay where I am (which is fine with me) another year and a half then I do one year of school full time and after graduation maybe he will hire me when he has a PTA opening, because he's already offered me a job in his office. Cool, huh?

Tomorrow I go see a friend that I know from my days as a personal trainer. He works at a chain and also with the high school. Should be very interesting too.

My husband is going to school full time right now to become a grade school teacher. We were talking yesterday how in just 3 years our lives will be completely different. Getting there is going to be tough as far as time and money invested. But it's only 3 years... then we will both be working in jobs we have wanted to have for years, making more money than we were before.

Plus, our kids are doing good in school and making plans for their futures. That's neat to watch and be a small part of.

And I'm getting a new cat today. ;-)